Our Passive Aggressive Nifty Note.

One of our newest Nifty Notes this season is our Passive-Aggressive Nifty Note, which allows you to voice your distaste in a firm yet subtle fashion. To all of you who care (or who don’t, no matter) it’s currently ranked as our thirteenth (out of nineteen) most popular Nifty Note (based on online sales via Google Analytics).

Regardless of its popularity, we all know that everyone is more passive-aggressive than high-five happy (the High Five Nifty Note is our number one selling online Nifty Note—again Google Analytics is our best friend). And c’mon, there’s even a website dedicated to passive-aggressive notes! (Can you imagine how many Google Alerts come into our inbox because of this website?!)

But if you don’t have the knack for passive-aggression, or you’re just outright mean (which is totally okay in select situations), here are five tips on how to write an effective passive-aggressive note: (Example given.)

1. Use a standard greeting, like “Dear,” “To whom it may concern,” or “‘Sup,” because you don’t want to scare them away from reading the rest of your note.

An example passive-aggressive note.

2. Don’t miss an opportunity to connect with the person—you may have things in common, and latching onto that possibility may make you look much cooler than you’re coming off as. See how the people in #101 said how they might love “Design on a Dime”? That was probably a lie.

3. It’s important to transition into/voice any other annoyances during this exchange (too many notes on their property, and you just look like the B word). Isn’t there a sage saying that’s close to, “If the levee breaks, let the water flow?” ( . . . Or maybe not?)

4. Up until this point, everything that’s been written is just a pillow cushioning the elephant in the room. You want to make sure you actually address the issue at hand. (This is where your more intimidating words sneak in.)

5. Lastly, thank them for their time and for reading your note all the way through. (Because we probably would’ve stopped reading after “. . . #201.”) And it’s important that you end in a positive note (i.e. “We love getting to know our neighbors!”) because that tends to lighten the overall bitterness of the letter (hence the purpose of writing the note in the first place).

We’ve been doing this blogging thing for almost two months now (so bleeding edge), with over forty blog posts under our belt. We’ve had fun writing and creating it, but it’s been even more fun reading everyone’s comments, ideas, and responses.

Fill out the survey and get a "Duh" sticky note (100 sheets)!

However, there’s always room for improvement (ahem—we’ve admitted that even we make mistakes). So we want (okay, we need) to hear all of your genius thoughts on it so far! To that end, we’d be eternally (or at le

ast for a week or so) grateful if you’d fill out a quick, nonscientific, not-created-by-a-polling-firm survey.

But before you roll your eyes and laugh at the impropriety of this request, we’re pulling a quid pro quo on you fantabulous FOKKers.

This survey is now closed. Any survey filled out after October 31 will not receive complimentary DUH Sticky Notes.

Fill out this survey on our blog by October 31, and we’ll send you a free “Duh” sticky note (100 sheets)! Because we want your feedback—duh!

Note about the survey: None of these field are mandatory, but if you want that free sticky note, we’ll need your mailing and email addresses (again—duh) as well as all questions answered (that’s not a duh—that’s just extortion).

For our weekly “In It for the Money” feature, we’ll be introducing you to the kick-ass Knock Knockers who make everything go, from creative to sales to logistics to . . . everything! Note—everybody answers the first five questions. After that, they have about fifteen wild-card questions from which to choose.

It's just a typical day in the life of Brad. I'm enjoying the exquisite works of artist Edward Ruscha in the Knock Knock lobby.

1. Name and title? Brad, senior designer.

2. Originally from? Wisconsin: land o’ cheese and beer.

3. What the hell do you do all day? As a senior designer, I do the same thing as the rest of the designers here, except that I do it with my turn signal on for the last half-hour. Designer stuff includes the following, which I do at different stages for the handful of projects I’m working on at any given time:

• Thinking up a bunch of visual directions for the new products we come up with and grumbling like a prima donna when anyone suggests even the teensiest minor change.
• Finessing and tweaking and refining and adjusting and applying the visual look to all aspects of the product.
• Reviewing production samples and occasionally noticing that the manufacturer has substituted its own colors and/or fonts in place of the ones we used.

4. Favorite thing about working at KK? I was a Knock Knock fan before getting hired, so I gotta go with having a hand in creating products I absolutely love.

5. Favorite hobbies outside work? Watching movies and select television series, listening to music, reading comic books. I guess you could say I live a pretty active lifestyle.

Okay, you caught me. But I'm still enjoying exquisite works nonetheless.

6. Did your professional life exist before Knock Knock? Yep. I worked at a few design studio–advertising agency–marketing group types of places. Although there are projects I’m very proud of from that time in my career, I’m really glad to be out of an industry in which we have to hype other businesses’ products or services regardless of whether they are jewels or junk.

7. Pet peeves? There isn’t enough space on the Internet to answer this question.

8. If you were a superhero, what would your name and superpowers be? Captain Express—possessing the uncanny ability to correctly predict the fastest-moving line of traffic or store queue. My arch-nemesis, of course, is the sweet ol’ Madame Granny! Duh-duh-DUH!

9. What’s currently in your music rotation right now? Go take a listen (hint: try the “Preview All” button at the bottom of the playlist).

10. If you were granted one wish, what would it be? It’s a tie—for the diverse peoples of the world to coexist peacefully and free of aggression or dominion, valuing knowledge over ideology, seeking to build rather than destroy . . . or a bazillion dollars.

11. Song you would pick as your theme song? “Frolic” by Luciano Michelini.

Without chance, the world would just be boring. And without Google Roulette Mondays, in which we put a chosen word into Google Images to see what comes up first, frivolity would have no meaning.

The first Google Images result. Note that the search pretty much yielded this image over and over again.

Alexis, one of our designers, suggested we google “bunny with a pancake” this week.

At first we were like, We did cute last week. Then we were like, Last week cute led us to Cuddle Parties. And we were furthermore like, What if looking at cute animals sucks up all our time? And seconds later, we were like, This is the first Google Roulette we’ve done where almost all the pictures that pop up are the same images.

Oolong, the rabbit who started it all.

But then we got into the bunny-with-things-on-his-head groove and wound up cherishing the five minutes we spent getting to know Oolong, a now-deceased bunny who sported pancakes—and so much more—on his head.

Oolong, a Japanese rabbit, lived with a photographer human companion who taught Oolong to balance things on his head. Oolong was also lucky enough to have his daily musings regularly documented. When Oolong passed away, in 2003, at the age of eight, he left online buzz ranging from the New York Times (which noted, “Photo blogs are the colorful offspring of blogs, or Web logs, written diaries posted and updated regularly on the Internet”) to an artist who painted oil still-lifes of him. We wish we’d had the chance to meet Oolong. Unfortunately, in 2003, we didn’t know what photo blogs were.

Apparently yesterday was “Plaid Day,” but not all of us got the memo. You know what they say: great minds dress alike.

1. Clockwise from the top: Jim, COO; Craig, CCO; Randy, national sales manager; Alexis, designer; Alex, junior designer; Megan, design intern; Gil, director of operations; Shane, production manager.

A big smile for the camera! You can frequently find me stocking, and counting (by hand!) our in house product. FYI those file cabinets below are filled with products as well!

For our weekly “In It for the Money” feature, we’ll be introducing you to the kick-ass Knock Knockers who make everything go, from creative to sales to logistics to . . . everything! Note—everybody answers the first five questions. After that, they have about fifteen wild-card questions from which to choose.

1.  Name and title? Jazzlyn C. Dixon, customer service specialist.

2.  Originally from? San Francisco, California.

3.  What the hell do you do all day? Work—just kidding. I enter and service all wholesale orders and some key accounts. I deal firsthand with all the wonderful reps and splendid vendors that work with us. If a customer has invoicing questions, need credits processed, or just wants to vent about how great our products are, then I’m your girl. You name it, I do it . . . or will in the near future. The best part about a work-filled day is how fast it seems to go by. Nobody wants to be bored.

4.  Favorite thing about working at KK? The people of course—they ROCK! I love how everyone seems to have his or her own individual style and Knock Knock “swag.” Not to mention our products are absolutely fabulous! I enjoy showing off our stuff to my friends and family, and seeing their reactions. My elders especially . . . they ironically love it the most. Who knew?!

5.  Favorite hobbies outside work? Hanging out with my boys (fiancé and son), traveling, and making memories. We’ve created our own Los Angeles “bucket list” with everywhere we’ve always wanted to visit and new places to enjoy as a family. Just last weekend we went to Legoland and it was AWESOME! I’ve come to find that my son might be somewhat of a thrill junkie. (However it was a love/hate relationship with the coasters.) He’s so cool!

6.  Did your professional life exist before Knock Knock? Oh yeah, as long as I’ve liked shopping I’ve had to fund my habit. Before Knock Knock, I was working as an administrative assistant at a life insurance and estate-planning firm. Not much laughing around that office, if you know what I mean. Knock Knock is definitely a better fit for my personality and lifestyle.

My son, Cali, is my background and screensaver. And with two monitors, it's a double dose of cuteness!

7.  Pet Peeves? Chewing with your mouth open or just very loudly in my presence. The sound of food smashing and shifting around in someone’s mouth seems to echo in my head—ugh—like chalk on a chalkboard. So please, if you sit next to me at the company lunch, keep your food noises to yourself. Nothing personal, but I will move (LOL).

8.  Any Hidden Talents? Hmmm. . . well, I can put my legs behind my head if you call that a hidden talent. But I really don’t like to do it. I’m always afraid that I’m going to get one of my legs stuck behind my head, which would be an awkward 911 call. Ha!

9.  Favorite Website? Other than Knock Knock (hee hee), I would have to say Craigslist. It’s the go-to for everything. Yes, I’ve had to be selective and do some investigating before I’ve committed. But on the other side, we have those items that we just don’t need anymore. We’ve all had that problem of having a chair, pool table, or baby items that’ve been outgrown. And any money is good money! It’s a win-win situation for everybody. But Groupon comes in close after. =)

10.  Interesting factoid no one would know about you from first glance? Well most people don’t know that I’m a proud mommy. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old son named Cali. He’s so awesome! He’s totally into skateboarding and, I hate to say it, the Wii. We just purchased a LeapPad tablet for him and he loves it! I totally recommend it for any child from ages three to six. (I’m even more astonished that they now have tablets for kids . . . I mean, really?!) My son has become my best friend and it feels so right. A shout-out to Cali Joseph Aubin!

11.  Most embarrassing moment? When I was about thirteen years old, I had a crush on this older guy that attended my church. One Saturday when I was looking extra-pretty in my church best, I exited the restroom to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. I walked slowly down the stairs, thinking about how much I wanted him to admire my outfit. When I got to the bottom, he tapped my shoulder. Boy, was my stomach fluttering. Then he pointed down at me, and I saw that the whole back of my dress was tucked into my panty hose! Needless to say I didn’t want his attention anymore.

12.  Except for bills, what do you spend the most money on? I would have to say my son (boy, are kids expensive!). In the beginning it was diapers and the “must-have” baby items (the Bumbo baby seat, the BOB stroller, Petunia Pickle Bottom baby bags, etc.) per my peers. Now it’s Wii games, the LeapPad tablet, and Your Baby Can Read—cha-ching! I must say I was warned, however, I love being a mommy. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It’s life-changing! =)

Our All Out Of grocery list pad (“The miracle of checking off depleted items as you go”) is our bestselling product of all time. We’ve sold over 600,000 of these babies in America so far—a pretty big deal! But sometimes don’t we all lack more than produce and canned goods? In the series “_____’s All Out Of,” we’ll be looking at the things some of us need that can’t be purchased at the supermarket. We’d also love to hear from you—what do you wish you could put on your shopping list?

Click to see what's on her list!

Who’s all out of: Kate Sullivan, assistant editor

Why she’s all out of these things: 

1. Morrissey/G.B. Shaw: You may have noticed that, because I have no need for tofu, I changed the “Vegetarian” section to “Vegetarians.” I need these guys because when I last checked the pantry, my Soulful Dry Wit carton was almost empty!
2. Time: With more time, I could become the workaholic I have always secretly wanted to be.
3. Magic carpet: My “Bi-Locator” teleportation device is in the shop. How else can I fly to work from Pasadena every morning?!
4. Miniature cow: My cuteness needs are considerable and ever-expanding.
5. Lavender farm: Lavender is the queen of all plants, with remarkable and near-mystical powers. I believe I could happily devote my life to it, much as a monk might devote his life to hops.

What she thinks having these things will do for her:

Miniature cow: if I had a zebu, a dwarf cow from India, I could have free fresh organic milk every day, plus I could hug the cow and talk to him or her. I would get a miniature cow at the same time that I get my lavender farm. These purchases would both make me happy and very tired, I do realize. Taking care of a little cow and managing a farm would be madness. But then I can stop taking Benadryl and wine to fall asleep (I would be too exhausted to even take Nyquil)! (However the Nyquil is strictly recreational.)

What she has to say about her nonfantasy grocery items:

Jen recently baked a fruit crumble that represented a paradigm shift for me: I went from being a chocolate-oriented dessert person to a fruit-oriented dessert person. It was crumbelievable. So I would need the sugar, butter, sliced almonds, flour, blueberries, and peaches to recreate this amazing concoction. 

When she think she’ll be able to get everything:

Saturday or next week.

Without chance, the world would just be boring. And without Google Roulette Mondays, in which we put a chosen word into Google Images to see what comes up first, frivolity would have no meaning.

The thirteenth Google Images result. The little one is acting as the “big spoon.” Role reversal. Cute overload.

We’re not sure what it is about cuddling animals that make our hearts go soft and our crankiness cease. And since it’s Monday, we thought we would spread the cuteness (and stoop to the level of luring you in with delightful kitten pictures).

Which cuddling kittens picture do you think is cuter—the first image result or the thirteenth? It’s says something, though we know not what, that three out of the first thirteen pictures were cats cuddling, and two out of the thirteen were similarly embracing polar bears. But this breed-defying picture may just be the cutest of the search.

As you would imagine, many “cuddle” keyword results are indeed adorable. The seventh, however, was the opposite—borderline disturbing. From first glance, it looked as though a heap of adults took the O’Jays’ “Love Train” song literally.

The seventh Google Image result. Non-cute overload.

We couldn’t help but investigate where this mysterious picture came from, and we weren’t disappointed: it’s featured on Cuddleparty.com, the site of a nationwide nonprofit that promotes social events and workshops “designed for adults to explore communication, boundaries, and affection.” Their “About Us” describes,

You can come to a Cuddle Party to meet new people, to enjoy amazing conversations, to touch, to be touched, to have fun, to practice asking for what you want, to practice saying “no” to what you don’t want—all in a setting structured to be a safe place for exploration and enjoyment.

We were sad to see that we’d just missed this Cuddle Party, which sold out in two days. How much does a Cuddle Party cost to attend? Apparently it starts at $40, but they’re nice enough to provide a sliding scale for those in need, down to $20.99, for ladies only because the event organizer is “barely making [her]* rent.” Fortunately, even though we couldn’t be there, this video made us feel as if we had been.

Addendum:

*Like many people who have trouble making their rent, this particular Cuddle Party’s leader is vastly overeducated:

I have taken over 160 trainings in the last 17 years in the areas of life and wellness coaching, massage therapy, Polarity Therapy, Reposturing Dynamics, Theta Healing, Radical Forgiveness, Radical Honesty, Getting Real/Honesty Salons, energy healing, communication and relationship skills, Byron Katie, the Four Agreements, the Sedona Method, EFT, NVC, MMI, Dan Kennedy, Psycho-Cybernetics, Enneagram, Astrology, Numerology, Tantra, Calling In the One, Grief Recovery, Eckhart Tolle, Yoga, Qi Gong, improv, most of the PAX/Alison Armstrong Curriculum as well as an assistant for that work and the Human Awareness Institute, Landmark Education, Coaches Training Institute, and Many More [sic]!!!!

Please excuse us while, as an office, we take a moment to learn Radical Forgiveness and Psycho-Cybernetics. We’ll be right back, at which point we’ll c0mmence to paying our rent.

Check out our journal’s cover! The illustration of the dog (in "play bow" position) with the yellow background is actually a window in which a photo of one's actual dog can be inserted. Cool, right?

As you may have surmised, Knock Knock—and KK-ers—love dogs. I hope you’ve gotten to know a little about Paco and Maisie, our Head Honcho Jen’s goofy and serene (respectively) resident pups, and you may have seen (and purchased!) some of our past animal-loving products: the instructional book How to Have an Ill-Behaved Dog (from our Self-Hurt series), the Pet Organizer, and a KK Pad, “Don’t Kill the Pets.” Yup, we’re dog people. To be fair, we also have cat people here (some of us are even poly-pet-owners or, as Jen likes to put it, “ambipetrous”).

Creating a dog journal had been a pet project (pun intended) of our head honcho’s for some time. Originally envisioned as something along the lines of the classic “baby’s first year” journal, but for dog owners, the idea morphed after some brainstorming as well as because of our support for older and rescue dog adoption. About a thousand hours and a gazillion decisions later, in the spring of 2012, you’ll be able to find It’s a Dog’s Life: A Journal of Our First Year Together in amazing stores near you. After all, whether you get a purebred puppy or a middle-aged mutt, it’s about your dog’s first year with you.

Most people here work in InDesign or Illustrator to write into layout form, but I’m partial to the hand-drawn touch.

One of our main goals for It’s a Dog’s Life was to create a combination guided journal and record-keeping organizer, with a sizable dose of Knock Knock humor. With fill-in-the-blanks, checkboxes, and helpful prompts, as well as interesting monthly content about the care and handling of your pooch (maybe I’ve drunk the orange Kool-Aid, but who doesn’t want to know about, say, canine body language?), this approach entailed a bigger editorial project than a straightforward journal. More factual content always means extra time given to research, fact-checking, and proofing. My first correspondence about this project was on Valentine’s Day 2011, and the final typeset, fully designed files were off to manufacturing at the end of July. We recently got the first proofs back from the printer, and they look great!

A lot of the research was done online, of course, but I also haunted my vet’s office and pet stores for written material. A funny thing happens when you’re researching a new project—everywhere you turn, something pertains to it. The New York Times, YouTube, news stories, my dog Elsa’s several trips to the emergency room (she’s fine)—all provided fodder (kibble?) for the project.

My dog Elsa. She played a part in the product brainstorm.

This was a completely new product for us, which meant free reign to dream up any ideas and concepts—no precedents! This suited me fine, since I take a somewhat unusual approach to writing for layouts—instead of working in Illustrator or InDesign, I dream up content and then sketch it out by hand. This means I need to work closely with a designer because, as you can see, my drawing talent is more MOBA than MOCA. But that’s the only way I can envision the layout as it incorporates text with design. Luckily, I got to work with the brilliant and patient designer Alexis Lowery, who transformed my scribblings into a design approach blending her take on (gotta say it) doggy style with the signature Knock Knock wit. Alexis also found a talented illustrator, Marian Richardson, who brought various dog personalities to life within the pages. I won’t lie—some of it was a struggle to get exactly right (for instance, deciding on the cover took longer than we thought) but in the final push, it just all came together.

I love the result, as do Paco, Maisie, and Elsa, and I hope you will, too!

These are our newest Sticky Notes. Will yours one day be among them?

Even though we have a huge archive of ideas here at Knock Knock, this month we want to hear from all you inventive geniuses out there to come up with a new Knock Knock Sticky Note!

The winning idea will turn into a real Knock Knock Sticky Note! (Cross our hearts, hope to die.)

We’ve already received product ideas in the past from creative FOKKers out there, but we’ve never had a mechanism by which to accept and/or use them, what with the annoying legalities and all. So this is a great opportunity for those of you who have specifically said, “Gee golly gosh, this would work perfectly as a Knock Knock Sticky Note!”

Breakdown of prizes:

First Place:

1. The winner’s Knock Knock Sticky Note idea will be put into development, and he or she will have the chance to work with us on finalizing the idea as it moves toward actual manufacturing. Not to mention that the winner will be credited with the note’s creation online!
2. $100 in Knock Knock product. Hell yeah, right?

Second Place:

1. Ten Knock Knock Sticky Notes (your choice which ones).

Third Place:

2. Five Sticky Notes (your choice which ones).

Rules to enter:

1. Because this involves product ideas which will be ours forever and ever, whether or not you win, it’s important to review all of our legal mumbo-jumbo. You must read our Blog Terms of Use (halfway down in the general Terms of Use). Here’s most of the relevant stuff:

When visitors do post content or submit material . . . [they] grant Knock Knock and its affiliates a nonexclusive, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, and fully sublicensable right to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, and display such content throughout the world in any form and in any media . . . Visitors represent and warrant that they own or otherwise control all of the rights to the content they post . . .

1. Note that this contest is for our three-by-three-inch Sticky Notes in either Knock Knock’s Cubicle Notes or Keep It Simple styles.
2. Submit a title of your Sticky Note idea and a brief description to blog@knockknockstuff.com

Due Date: October 10, by 4:00 p.m. PST. This contest is now closed.

We’ve upped the ante with this blog contest, so we cannot wait to see what you all come up with!