We didn’t realize how competitive our Knock Knock team was until we started our company-wide “Ultimate Ping-Pong Championship,” aka “U.P.C.O.K.K.” (Yes, we did purposefully name it that just so we could use the acronym; and yes, the acronym does still make us giggle like little schoolgirls when we say it aloud.)

We started the tournament in mid-February and ended it this past month in a ping-pong themed fiesta. Here are some highlights from the championship round—Paul, our assistant manager of operations and customer service versus Jim, our president. In the end, there was one victor to congratulate—Jim!

Killerspin. The competition was fierce. Sort of. (Thanks to our editor-at-large, Jamie, for this pic!)

Gentlemen at the ready.

Score one for Jim. Maybe.

Look at that form! (Thanks to our manufacturing coordinator, Chelsea, for this one!)

All the spectators in panorama form.

Final score, Jim: 3 and Paul: 1. Jim is victorious! (Again, thanks for capturing this, Jamie!)

Good match, guys.

See more photos in our Knock Knockers at Work FB album. Can’t wait for the next “U.P.C.O.K.K.” to commence!

Does your workplace hold any internal competitions just for fun? Share with us in a comment!

Presidents’ Day celebrates the respected minds that molded our country into what it is today. And hey, one president in particular may even win an Oscar® this year!

As admirable as these leaders are, we pondered what the country would be like if Knock Knockers graced the faces of Mount Rushmore instead. So members of the Knock Knock team put on wishful-thinking hats and answered this question:

If you were president of the entire world, what would be your first order of business and why? 

“My first order of business would be to make the standard workweek four days instead of five, because honestly, who wants to work five days a week?” —Elyse, manufacturing director

“My first order of business would be to make it a law that every citizen should carry a WTF Stamp and stamp their fellow government representative on their forehead if they were not carrying out the job they were hired to do.” —Lonnie, national sales manager

“For my first order of business, I propose we have fewer police—no, no, not anything to do with a reduction in the police force. I mean a new federal law enforcement organization established to arrest people who incorrectly use the word 'less' instead of 'fewer.' The 'fewer' police would be a kind of grammar SWAT team, if you will, equipped with very special weapons and tactics. A pocket version of the Chicago Manual of Style could be used to Mirandize offenders.” —Jamie, editor at large

"As president, I would do a nightly fireside chat where I’d read children's books to the world, starting with Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends. I’d also offer free physical education classes (for example, swimming classes, because we’ve got a lot of lakes in my home state of Michigan!), and give city-wide tax breaks to those municipalities that get their citizens to dance walk (http://bit.ly/YAsnAS) everywhere they go."

"I would outlaw use of the word 'artisanal.'" —Kate, associate editor and mother-to-be. Note: this is Kate and her artisanal, locally grown, single-source baby.

“I would establish a world constitution, to which all countries were subject, that addresses the most basic human rights issues; animal rights issues; and, most importantly, issues of the dying Earth and global warming. The most urgent order of business would be to put together a plan for reversing damage to the Earth by whatever means necessary.” —Jen

“Let's take some inspiration from the Spanish (or my toddler) and institute a nationwide siesta. Restorative naps: required by law! If only we were One Nation Under Rebecca. Which reminds me, ‘One Nation Under a Groove’ is the new national anthem. I promise to funk, the whole funk.” —Rebecca, assistant editor

“If I were president, my first order of business would be to mandate ovens/toaster ovens in every office, so anyone could take a break from work and bake delicious treats. Treat-making breaks would be mandated into the workweek every Wednesday (since Wednesday is the longest day of the work week).” —Aimée, designer

What would be your first order of business? Tell us in a comment!

We understand this can be an uber-stressful time of year. But don’t worry, the Knock Knock digital department (Sara, our e-commerce manager, and Mel, our marketing and digital coordinator), made a video with a few tips for you to keep your holiday-head held high—ninety-nine tips, to be exact.

Note: this is a nod to our old 99 Ways to Survive the Holiday Card. “Share” it with friends and family if you’d like! And don’t forget to check out our “Holiday Survival Kit” for printable freebies!

"99 Ways to Survive the Holidays"

Now, tell us how you “survive” the holidays in the comments section below!

We picked out our favorite holiday songs for you to enjoy and freely blast on your speakers. You’re welcome.

1. “Ballad of the Sad Young Men” by Roberta Flack —Will, production artist

2. “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey (But you need to watch this version if you haven’t already.) —Dayna, assistant editor and Travis, sales associate

3. “A Marshmallow World” by Dean Martin —Erin, managing editor

4. “Let it Be Christmas” by Alan Jackson —Jim, president

5. “Carol of the Bells” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra —Sara, e-commerce manager

6. “The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole —Mia, design director

7. “Candlelight” by The Maccabeats —Paul, assistant manager of customer service and operations

8. “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway —Lena, customer service specialist

9. “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” by Jimmy Fallon, Tracy Morgan, Horatio Sanz, and Chris Kattan —Melanie, marketing and digital coordinator

10. “Merry X’Mas Everybody” by Slade —Kate, associate editor

11. “The Dreidel Song” by Julie Silver —Jen, head honcho

What’s on your holiday playlist? Tell us in a comment below!

This Thanksgiving, other than cooking up a storm in the kitchen, stuffing our faces with friends and family, and hopefully sleeping-in, the Knock Knock team is thankful for:

Mustached Sara.

1. “I’m thankful to my friends and family for being there always—through think, thin, better, worse, and especially for bad photo opportunities. Unconditional love is a rare and special thing—like mustache straws.” —Sara, e-commerce manager

2. “Studies have shown that around 1/3 of all Americans have never seen the ocean, I’m thankful that this is my backyard (figuratively more than literally, but you get the idea).” —Paul, assistant manager of customer service and operations

Paul and his backyard.

3. “I’m thankful for my baby niece’s irresistible cheeks.” —Priscilla, social media marketing intern

Priscilla, her baby niece, and her baby niece's cheeks.

4. “I am thankful for my ridiculously good-looking, goofy, tight-knit family. Here’s a picture of a small portion of them at Disneyworld. From L to R, my aunt (sweetheart), my brother (grumpy), my mom (tan), and my stepdad (too cool).” —Dayna, assistant editor

Dayna's familia.

5. “I am thankful for the bucket of chocolate in the kitchen, and the fact that everyone at Knock Knock is like a second, more fun/warped family!” —Will, production artist

Will and Squid-o. Buddies.

6. “Of course I’m thankful for my loving family, friends, and good health. But this year I’d like to especially mention how thankful I am for my newish-cat, Captain Daenerys Phoebs Tonks Bluth (or Dany, for short), because she is the absolute cutest. And I swear I’m not a crazy cat lady.” —Mel, marketing and digital coordinator

Dany and Mel.

7. “I’m thankful for working for a kick ass company!” —Jim, president

Jim, we're thankful you're on our team as well!

Jen sometimes listens to Oprah.

8. “I’m thankful for the opportunity to be thankful. Because I just got all up in the thankful in my latest blog post for Knock Knock with an actual heartfelt gratitude list (come on, Oprah, sometimes I do listen), I’m recognizing that I do actually have things to be thankful for. Between my ironic, pessimistic, snarky brain (humor never came from optimists, you know) and my tendency to look at what I can’t do or haven’t done rather than what I can do and have done, the realization that I have much to be thankful for is something to be thankful for. So thank you.” —Jen, head honcho

What are you thankful for this year? Tell us in a comment below!

A few of us have stayed on team Knock Knock for the long haul these past ten years (besides Jen, of course). Patricia Rudolph, whose been a Knock Knocker since 2003, is one of those select individuals. In this special “In It for the Money,” we picked Patty’s brain on her time at Knock Knock.

A third of Patty at Knock Knock's first National Stationery Show.

1. Knock Knock title you had when you started: Director of Sales

    Knock Knock title you have now: Director of New Product Initiatives

2. What has changed the most over the time that you’ve been at Knock Knock? Sixteen new employees, additional office space, processes, published books, international presence, and key account relationships.

3. If you left Knock Knock in the past, how did you feel? Tell us about your departure. If you came back, tell us about that too!

I left Knock Knock when they we’re going through a period of logistical challenges to explore product development and manufacturing, which I also had an interest in.

I was always proud of Knock Knock’s continued rise in the marketplace, even as I watched from the outside. So during a phone call last spring, Jen and I realized that I could bring what I had learned about product development and sales and put it back into the Knock Knock mix. Now, I’m happy to say that I’m off and running again with Knock Knock. The creative energy across the company is energizing!

5. What are you proudest of during your time at Knock Knock? Expanding a nascent Knock Knock across the country and internationally.

Patty's fave Knock Knock ite. The Original Slang Flashcards came out in 2004.

6. What do you think would most surprise people about working at Knock Knock? You can swear as much as you want . . . for Christ sakes!

7. What’s the hardest part about working at Knock Knock? Being diligent about proper punctuation. Also, knowing the difference between ampersands and umlauts and hashtags and hyphens—oh my!

 8. What’s the best part about working at Knock Knock?  When we have direct orders from the head honcho to do things like check out Jon Hamm’s penis video.

9. What has surprised you the most about working at an entrepreneurial startup company? That a small group of talented individuals really can have an impact on a design trend, both nationally and internationally.

10. What’s your favorite discontinued Knock Knock product? Besides my nostalgic fondness for the Report Cards, I loved the first release of Slang Flashcards. The hysterical combination of the straight images and sentences peppered with current slang words made for fun selling, and I learned how to sound like a nerdy hipster.

A few of us have stayed on team Knock Knock for the long haul these past ten years (besides Jen, of course). Gil Vizconde, who has been a Knock Knocker since 2004, is one of those select individuals. In this special “In It for the Money,” we picked Gil’s brain on his time at Knock Knock.

Mr. Gil and his token catchphrase after all these years.

1. Knock Knock title you had when you started: Slave. It’s funny, but I really can’t remember. Now I’m the director of operations (DOO)—still a slave, but I get paid a lot more and I get to tell other people what to do.

2. What has changed the most over the time that you’ve been at Knock Knock? The number of offices we occupy. Other than that, the business has grown tremendously and our brand is found everywhere.

Gil and his Knock Knock Composition Book from 2004. He still uses it to this day!

3. What are you proudest of during your time at Knock Knock? I can’t recall any specific event, but every year has been an achievement in terms of what we’ve done as a company, as well as personally in the various roles and positions I’ve had throughout the years. To grow year after year is a lot to be proud of.

4. What do you think would surprise people the most about working at Knock Knock? I think the biggest surprise is the size of our company (FYI, we currently have twenty-five employees). We’re small, but we get a TON of crap done. It amazes even me!

5. What’s the hardest part about working at Knock Knock? Commuting from Phoenix, Arizona, and keeping Jim, the “Prez,” under control during meetings. He gets a little excited sometimes.

6. What’s the best part about working at Knock Knock? It’s gotta be the roll-up door on the business side! Okay, maybe it’s the people and the product—both super cool. And having an office in Venice less than a mile from the beach isn’t bad either.

7. What has surprised you the most about working at an entrepreneurial startup company? It has to be the amount of creativity and work that gets put into every item we sell, from the early idea stage, all the way through production, to the final stage of distribution. It’s so much more work on this side of the business (production and manufacturing). I was on the entrepreneurial retail and selling end previously, so buying and selling product now seems so much easier to me.

8. What’s your favorite discontinued Knock Knock product? I almost forgot about the original Composition Book. It’s the perfect notebook with a hard cover, a strap to keep it closed and your crap inside, perforated corners to mark where you left off, and doodling dots on the bottom.

. . . Or she will rain vengeance on you—using plastic wrap.

You may recall the “office rat” that our operations team enjoys placing in random areas around the office, like the bathroom, candy bucket, inside people’s belongings. (They also love pranking in general. Remember this bit?)

Anyways, last week, on our former designer Alexis’s last day, our director of operations decided to place our fake furry friend in Alexis’s bag. She got him back. Good.

With the help of an unnamed accomplice, whose face you can totally see in these pics, Alexis wrapped all of Gil’s stuff. Like of all of it.

So here’s a traditional and easy way to prank a prankster: wrap all of his or her belongings in cling wrap while the person is out at dinner.

Lots of wrapping going on. And look, Alexis left Gil a note.

The result. They even got his filing cabinet.

Alexis! We will miss you and your mischievious ways.

“Knock Knocker Scribbles” is a column under our “In It for the Money” category, where you can get to know the Knock Knock team—from creative to sales to logistics to . . . everything! Each week, someone in the office fills out a questionnaire. They are given a day to complete it to their liking, with scrawls, scratch outs, doodles, and all.

Click the pic for an even closer look:

We applaud your stamped answers, Alexis (zombie Alexis?). And if we ever cross paths with Willie Nelson, we will shout your name. Also, please show us the Pat Benatar dance some time. Thank you.

It’s that time of the year again, when the Knock Knock office is filled to the brim with cardboard boxes and the lingering scent of packaging tape. What’s caused this pleasant ruckus?

Our amazing customer services and operations team is sending lovely Fall 2012 product samples to over eighty reps across the nation. Exciting indeed.

Our customer service rockstar, Jazzlyn, with the new catalogs. Cheesin' for the cam.

Gil and Paul, team operations!

Carboard boxes Instagrammed. That makes it instantly intimately beautiful, right?

The digital girls, moi on the left and our e-commerce manager, Sara, on the right. They barracaded our space with wheelable chairs, so we made it into a half-assed fort. Secret password required!